An Avidya Forest Watcher and botanical scholar who graduated from Amurta. Leading a fruitful life of patrolling the rainforest, protecting the ecology, and lecturing fools every day.
NOTE
The value of knowledge cannot simply be quantified in monetary terms.
If you ever need a researcher well-versed in botany, feel free to call upon me.
[ there's a bit more color on cyno's cheeks, with that smile and wider eyes - tighnari thinks he's beautiful as well. more so than the red rose that adorns him. fingers gingerly brush aside some white strands of hair, gaze softening as he admires the man a bit more. the feeling that swells in his chest is familiar - but there's something more intimate in this moment.
though, the question has the corner of his eyes crinkling with mirth, taking a step closer with a swish of his tail. one hand smooths over onto cyno's shoulder with a light grip and a slight tilt of his head. ]
Mmm, I thought you'd never ask, Cyno.
[ the music is a soft melodic tune, indicating a slow gentle dance, so tighnari is already guiding one of cyno's hands onto his own waist with a soft squeeze. a clear indication that he's allowing the other to take lead, which he confirms in a soft voice after. ]
[ ah, that smile is radiant, and cyno feels his chest tighten with impossible fondness.
oh this is dangerous indeed. he might be tormenting himself here, allowing this, but he doesn't stop. it feels like a dream when tighnari leads cyno's hands where he wants them, and cyno's thumb brushes a slow circle against the skin bared at tighnari's waist.
though it might surprise some people, cyno is quite a good dancer. dancing is, after all, not so different from combat, and cyno's particular style of combat is smooth and fluid and flexible, and therefore, so is he. he listens to the beat for a few seconds before beginning to move, his grasp on tighnari's waist becoming a little more firm as they slide easily into the dance, hand in hand.
he wants to say something. he should say something. but all he can do is look into tighnari's face, his captivating eyes. ]
[ that brush of his thumb entices a slight shiver from him, straightening a bit in small surprise - as if his change in clothes had been something that slipped his mind. after all, with how focused he has been on cyno, he hasn't given much thought to anything else. though it's a touch he may have shied away from before... he leans into it, allowing that palm to settle comfortably against his skin. finding that need to indulge in just a little for a change.
patiently he waits for cyno to move, and when he does, they move into step without missing a beat. his steps slide in one after another, flowing in tune with fluid and smooth notions. his hand squeezes cyno's own gently, gaze bright and twinkling a little under the warm lights around them, lips still lifted in a smile until he decides to step out of line.
and that is by causing them both to spin on the spot, arm raising to suddenly accommodate himself as he turns with one swift twirl and his back gently presses against cyno's chest. the contact is brief, gone as he twirls back and moves them both back into the same steps as before with cyno leading again. ]
You're quiet suddenly. Have something on your mind?
[ he has many things on his mind, things that are not helped by the delicate, lovely way that tighnari twirls, nor the way the fox presses his back to cyno's chest. it's fleeting, but the warmth of tighnari's body lingers against him, the sensation of having him so close making his skin prickle.
they move back into the dance with ease, silk whispering against silk, and cyno draws closer, scooping tighnari in near with the hand at his waist slipping to the small of his back, resting just above the base of his tail. cyno's thumb swipes the soft, downy fur there, and he lowers his eyes briefly, then lifts them again.
they've danced before, this isn't the first time. tighnari attended the gala for his promotion, after all, and there had been plenty of events that they'd been wrangled into, hosted by the akademiya. sometimes they even dance at home in tighnari's hut, laughing playfully. why does this feel different? why does cyno's heart feel ready to burst from his chest? he's feeling far more bold than he otherwise might, though perhaps it isn't necessarily boldness, but rather fearlessness. cyno isn't afraid of tighnari knowing his feelings, after all. he's quite straightforward. what he's worried about is putting his dearest friend in danger.
but he's already in danger, isn't he? everyone knows how close they are, no matter how cyno attempts to downplay it. anyone who wanted to get to him could surely do it through tighnari, despite what the true nature of their relationship might be. collei, too. so what is he waiting for? ]
Tighnari, I..
[ he murmurs softly, their bodies still swaying to the music. ]
[ there's no fighting against the way that hand draws him closer, following every bit of the other man's lead and guidance. though he can't help the shiver that runs up and down his spine as that thumb swipes over that sensitive area at the base of his tail. that hand at the man's shoulder smooths over to wrap that arm around cyno's neck, peering to meet that scarlet red gaze straight on.
this way of dancing with him is familiar, yes. a request from cyno is never going to be turned down from tighnari, who is even one to indulge him in tcg matches. a playful dance between them in more secluded areas like home. an outing to another region for some time together. though like cyno, he can tell this is different from those times before.
tighnari feels that same desire, need, to share what it is he feels in this moment, however he's more attentive of cyno's own demeanor. the soft murmur of those words while they sway with the melodic tune, he knows it's something that cyno wants to say. he grows quiet himself, contemplating, until he resolves to do something to ease his companion's hesitation.
just this once - ]
What? Fox got your tongue?
[ get it.... cat got your tongue.... but it's fox, because tighnari.... ]
it certainly helps to alleviate the tension. cyno's eyebrows lift, his eyes snapping open a little wider, and a smile soon curves his mouth, but his heart still thrashes in his chest. ]
A little bit.
[ fox does have his tongue indeed. and his heart. everything that he is, is tighnari's. cyno's throat works as he swallows thickly, and not for the first time, nor likely for the last, his gaze flits briefly downward to tighnari's lips. his heart leaps again. they're so close, it would be so, so easy to close the distance between them, to finally learn the taste and texture of tighnari's mouth, information he's been aching to know for years.
his thumb continues to move in slow circles at the base of tighnari's tail. he felt that shiver, and he wants more of it. cyno's pale hair spills over his shoulders as he dips his head forward a little, brushing their noses, whispering. ]
[ a brow raises, lips quirking with a look to the other man - yes, he did, in fact, crack a joke, but his look suggests for cyno to not get used to it, because the chances of it happening again are slim!! if nonexistent! a one-time opportunity and it's been done. still, it does the job as he hopes, finding the other a bit more alleviated.
a soft hum emits, gaze flickering down as he catches sight of the way the other's throat bobs with that swallow. finding the close distance between them tantalizing, any breaths leaving them ghosting one another's lips that has his tail swishing slowly in anticipation. their steps begin to slow and tighnari takes that opportunity to slide his hand held in cyno's own to cup a tanned cheek.
lashes flutter to a half-lidded state when cyno leans in, pupils dilating the moment their noses brush together. and of course that damned teasing touch to his tail, causing it to curl highly up with a quiver. however, it's those words that have him freeze, peering back at that gaze. he has always wanted to kiss cyno, to share such intimacy with him as he does, why was he so afraid to do so before? it's almost hard to remember, finding the temptation gently coaxed but he pushes that thought away. he pushes all cautiousness out the window - cyno's confirming whisper is all he needs to just
pull cyno the rest of the way and bring their lips together in a kiss. ]
[ there's a moment where he's sure that tighnari will rebuke him. there's a reason they've never acted on their feelings, after all - a reason they've held back for so long. yet right now, it feels like none of that matters. cyno's heart aches for him, to be as close to him as he can possibly be, and this moment, dancing together amidst the flowers to distant music.. it's perfect.
when he feels tighnari pulling him in to close the distance, cyno's heart leaps into his throat.
and then he's pressing forward, locking their mouths gently together, both arms coiling around tighnari's middle to pull him close. closer. as close as he can manage. their lips slide together in a perfect match, and cyno shivers, losing himself in the sensation immediately.
tighnari's lips.. they're just as soft as he'd always imagined they would be, just as warm, plush and silken. their breath mingles, and cyno's pulse kicks up, his head tilting to better accommodate their kiss, a low hum in his throat. he feels dizzy. this is a dream, something he's ached to do for so long that finally achieving it feels unreal.
one hand slides slowly up tighnari's back, rough calluses catching against soft skin, and the other lifts to slip into tighnari's dark hair, cradling his head closer. ]
[ a soft noise escapes tighnari, surprised by the coil of arms around him that pull in turn, which has his own arm around cyno's neck grow firmer. his heart skips, a fleeting feeling until it quickens when those lips press back. part of him knows he shouldn't have indulged - that they both know it would have been better to move on from that admittance, to turn their eye away and continue on.
and yet every second of this feels right. like it was meant to be. as if it was always going to end up this way. eyes slip to a close as he familiarizes to the feel of that mouth against his own, peeks of fangs lightly grazing that bottom lip when that kiss deepens. he can feel every breath being swallowed with the brush of their noses, heads tilting to feel more of those lips on his.
ears tremble in a fold back, burying into dark hair with an arch to his back when that palm maps along the exposed layer of his back. shuddering to that callus roughness that causes a churning pleasure in his stomach. a thumb smooths over cyno's cheek, gingerly holding that cheek in his own palm. it encourages fingers to reach up to tickle into white strands, fingertips dragging lightly over his scalp.
though his chest starts to tighten as he loses his breath amidst their shared kiss, reminding himself to breathe through his nose. however, that feel of a hum emitting from the other man does pull a chuckle from tighhnari himself. he can't help but smile, his tail dipping low to curl around part of cyno. he wants nothing more than to commit this moment to memory - to remember the way it feels to kiss cyno. he could easily get addicted to it. ]
[ cyno feels.. almost drunk on the shower of sensations, the incredible warmth, and the bone deep satisfaction of something he's been aching for for so very, very long. kissing tighnari, it just feels correct in the way that breathing feels correct, in the way that his heart beating feels correct. he's never quite known a feeling like it, before.
and then tighnari is arching into him, pulling close, and cyno's breath rushes hot, a shiver sweeping down his spine from the feel of tighnari's fingers, heat blazing under his skin. his head is full of warm, static cotton. tighnari chuckles, the sound bubbling against his lips, making cyno smile, his mouth curving against tighnari's. ]
Mm.. just what are you laughing about?
[ he says softly, his voice a low, rough whisper between them, but he keeps tighnari close, holds their bodies together, his lips pressing to the corner of tighnari's mouth. ]
[ it really feels like whatever walls they've built up over the years, guarded and careful to avoid putting either of each other in a difficult situation... is simply out the window now. gently broken down, piece by piece by each trailing touch, brush of those lips against one another. bubbling a warm, gentle sensation in his chest that swells with those lips smiling against his mouth.
he brushes their noses languidly, lashes fluttering open to peer into the other's man face. there's no hiding the sheer look of fond and affection that he looks to cyno with. feeling his nerves still alight while he has a thumb smooth a small circle beneath an eye, curving that palm back against his companion's jawline. his own voice in the same kind of whisper. ]
Next time you should just kiss me.
[ because in the end of it all, he will always have a weakness that is cyno. it doesn't matter what happens now, or will happen, whatever future comes, cyno will always be tighnari's weakness. and he has long since accepted this very fact. ]
[ for cyno, it is much the same. he has let others into his heart recently enough, but tighnari..
tighnari, and collei. they are his life. his heart. his family, his reason to wake up in the morning, even beyond his own sense of duty and work ethic. cyno fights for sumeru and her people, he fights for those he loves, to make the world a better place for them, a safer place, day by day. and so they, too, are his weakness as well; there is nothing he would not give for tighnari, up to and including his life, the breath in his lungs. ]
Next time..
[ he murmurs, weakened by that irresistible fondness in tighnari's eyes, knowing that same deep, undeniable love is reflected in his own expression. next time. yes. he likes the sound of that.
and next time, it would seem, is right now, for cyno is soon cradling tighnari's face in both of his rough hands, and kissing him again. ]
[ of course tighnari sees it in him. he has always known, he would be blind to not see how cyno looks at him. with how much the general mahamatra extends himself for both collei and him. how far he goes for their sake, the effort, the dedication he has towards them. tighnari isn't completely naive and oblivious to not see it.
it was almost a silent agreement, for the both of them to not say anything. to not label it, to put words to what it was. but clearly now they've taken a step past that line - pushing through in that simple admittance of his desire to kiss, and tighnari accepting it willingly.
just as he accepts it now as well. feeling those rough hands cradling his face so gently, ears folding back into his dark hair with a soften look in his two-toned gaze. lashes flutter to a close again as he returns that kiss sweetly, his own hands dropping to rest on the other man's waist to slowly encircle it.
though there's no hiding the way his tail starts to wag, swishing side to side as hands squeeze cyno gently. ]
[ if cyno had a tail it surely would be wagging as well, but his surging happiness shows in other ways - in the way he holds close to tighnari, in the way he still cannot stop smiling even as they kiss again. he's pleased. more than pleased. cyno is absolutely over the moon. he kisses tighnari again, and again, and again, their lips sliding together, before he's sinking his teeth gently into tighnari's lower lip.
gods, he could kiss tighnari for hours and never tire of it. ]
We should..
[ .. talk about this. shouldn't they? there's so much to be said, despite how much they both already know of one another's hearts, so much that doesn't need to be said, since they've said it a hundred times with their smiles, their deeds, their lingering touches.
cyno pulls back, but only enough to be able to look into tighnari's face, into his forest colored eyes. ]
[ each kiss is languid, soft, a simple touch to share affections with one another - it isn't rushed, heated, or anything too demanding. and yet it still has his heart racing, especially so when he feels the sink of those teeth that entices a surprised noise from tighnari. however, the start of those words have his gaze fluttering open, peering at him while he takes this brief respite to catch his breath. ]
...ah.
[ right. as obvious as it may be to another, even with things left unsaid, it would probably be best to discuss it. if it's what cyno wants, tighnari can't really turn it down or away. even if it would be so easy to go back to the way things are. so he nods after a moment, his head tilting to gently press their foreheads together. another noise leaves him, one of affirmation. ]
[ the moment tighnari responds, cyno thinks that perhaps he should have waited for this, should instead allow them both some time to simply enjoy this night and this moment without having to weigh it down with conversation. it's okay for them to just.. have this, isn't it? to allow themselves to indulge in something they've wanted for so, so long?
cyno wonders why this should be so difficult in the first place. if two people care for one another, shouldn't they be able to express that, without fear and without worry? if only things were so uncomplicated. ]
Do you remember that night - it was a long time ago - before you graduated? It was a quiet night, nothing particularly interesting happened. We sat together on the terrace outside of your apartment. It was summer, very warm, we were drinking peach iced tea.
[ cyno remembers it, he remembers it as if it were yesterday. his thumbs smooth across tighnari's cheeks, fingertips sifting into his dark hair. ]
We talked about the stars. You pointed out our constellations, and we talked about a potion that could turn me into a scarab. That night - that's when I knew.
[ to most, it must be so easy, so simple to be able to express without any worry or concerns. and certainly it's easy to share how much he cares for the other man - but there's only so much he can express how he really feels towards him, given each their own responsibilities. but more importantly, the burden he fears would push cyno in a difficult situation. after all, being general mahamatra of all things, he has so many more important duties and things that require his attention. and yet, he still spares time for tighnari, for collei, still reaches for his company - is here now even. it doesn't need to be difficult, but it is. and he knows he shouldn't be selfish, should be content already with what they have. however, right here, in this moment, there's something that keeps pushing him to indulge further, to express it out loud. to stop skirting around feelings, shared or otherwise, to simply say it how it is.
he blinks when cyno begins, his gaze steady and holding that red gaze straight on. of course he remembers that night. he almost remembers every day he's spent with cyno, from his meeting with him, to their buddling friendship that surprised even him. to find himself drawn and enjoying his company, to learn more about the man that was behind the intimidating cold front most saw cyno to be. he hums softly to confirm, mostly listening, closing his eyes as thumbs smooth over his cheeks and his head tilts into that drifting touch.
though, his lips twitch into a softer smile, chuckling. ]
You wouldn't stop trying to come up with jokes about scarabs after that. How even as a scarab you'd always find your way back due to your "insect-tinct." And "I wonder if I would be too cool for school; given my amazing ‘beet-itude.'" [ but that's how tighnari could always tell cyno was in a good mood, he'd slip in some jokes, testing tighnari who would groan and lightly shove him away but. ] ...I had already known by then too.
[ when he would open his door, to greet Cyno, who was always eager to share a new joke with him, or simply talk about nothing.. he had become so painfully aware of how much cyno had wormed his way into his heart and settled a permanent place there. ]
[ that cyno's schedule is a busy one - that's irrelevant, to him. he would sacrifice all of his time for tighnari and collei, should they ask it of him (though he knows they never would). it's the danger that keeps him from speaking his heart, the worry that, should they deepen their relationship any further, that the target on tighnari's back will become even broader, even darker, for anyone who would want to use another to get to cyno, to seek their vengeance.
but really.. was that even true?
it was quite obvious to anyone and everyone, after all, that tighnari and collei were his dearest companions; would being tighnari's partner, his lover, really make a difference? right now, at least, cyno can't help but think that no, no it wouldn't. so why does he still hesitate? why does he not simply let it all out? ]
Heh.. those were good jokes. I hope they didn't bug you too much.
[ but to know that his feelings were returned - it made cyno's chest swell up tight with emotion. his hands moved, sliding down tighnari's face and along his throat, over his shoulders and down his sides, holding him close, as close as he could. ]
I've loved you for as long as I can remember. And I'll never stop.
[ not for as long as he lives and breathes. cyno isn't sure whether or not he believes in soulmates, but if they are real, surely tighnari must be his. there is no one in this world he loves the way he loves tighnari, no one he could possibly hold as close to his heart in this way. ]
[ by this point, anyone would know where it would hurt cyno most, but it wasn't as if tighnari wasn't capable of defending himself. so the mere idea of potential danger... it's never bothered him. it hasn't ever really been a worry. it was simply... wouldn't cyno deserve better? it's a brief thought, but when he peers again into cyno's face, sees that love and affection that reflects back at him - his heart tightens a bit painfully.
perhaps they were both foolish. dancing around, skirting around words, trying to protect one another when really.. haven't they always been doing that? it really would make no difference. he shivers at the trail of those hands, tail twitching with a quick swish side to side. there is a roll of his eyes at yet another joke, but to hear the following words after...
his heart aches. good, but painfully. a breath exhales slowly while arms encircle cyno more to press them together in a loose hug. nudging his nose against a cheek. ]
I know.
[ tighnari has always known. known for as long as he has shared those very same feelings. even though hearing them out loud, to hear cyno say it himself... it ignites a warmth in his chest, because everyone would hope to have their feelings return and tighnari is of no exception. cyno is quite possibly the only one who would ever have his heart like this. he cannot see himself ever possibly loving someone else as much as he loves cyno. not in this way. and the way cyno continues to look at him, those very thoughts are surely returned. ]
I've always have, and will, love you, Cyno. Nothing will ever change that fact.
[ words emit in a soft whisper, quiet in this moment for only him to hear and no one else. ]
[ i know, tighnari says, and cyno nearly chuckles; of course he knows. cyno has made no attempt to hide it, and he might have held himself back from saying the words, but he showed it in a hundred other ways, both big and small. his love for tighnari isn't something that can be easily contained, it isn't something that can be shoved into a box and tucked into the back of his mind - it's something that struggles to be free. he's not strong enough to restrain it.
perhaps they were foolish to dance around it. could he have learned the taste of tighnari's lips years ago, and not wasted all of this time? well. perhaps so, but also, cyno won't take up time complaining about it. he has tighnari now, and that's all that really matters, isn't it? and he's hearing his dearest feelings returned. like tighnari, he has known on some level that his feelings were reciprocated, but hearing it, watching tighnari's mouth shape the words - it floods him with fondness and warmth.
he'll never forget the sound of it.
cyno closes his eyes, leans into tighnari's warmth, breathes in his unforgettable scent. he's setting this moment, in all of its detail, to perfect memory. ]
I suppose this was a long time in coming.
[ for how long they have danced around it, right now it feels easy and simple, as if they have been lovers for years. but in many ways they have been, haven't they? cyno nudges his nose along tighnari's cheek, his jaw, leaving a soft line of kisses there. ]
[ tighnari would be a fool to not see it, really. of course, it really solidifies it to hear the words uttered, and admittedly he wouldn't mind hearing them again. just like he wouldn't mind being kissed by cyno again, and again, merely taking in the man's scent and feeling him here within his arms as well as beneath his fingertips.
it's almost dreamlike. with the distant melodic tune of music, a gentle breeze with bright colors of the flora and the ponds beside them. but still he keeps his attention solely on cyno, taking in the contentment that glows brighter on his partner's face. ]
Suppose it was, in a way.
[ though as hidden as it technically was, it was also always there. tighnari chuckles softly, a hum sounding after as his tail starts to sway with the feel of those kisses. his heart stutters, quiet and gentle, guiding their noses together in a languid nuzzle. in a way, this does change things - but at the same time, it doesn't. their feelings may have been enlightened to one another, yes, but it can easily go back to the way things have always been. which is why he directs cyno to look at him - meeting that gaze while he observes him closely. ]
But I want to hear it from you directly. What is it you want.
[ he wants cyno to be certain of it. whether it's to keep thing as they are, or something more, tighnari is willing to accept and give him whatever it is he wants. but for his own sake, he wants to hear it. see it for himself without any worries or doubts. ]
really, cyno wonders if there could ever be any other answer than the one he has to say. could he possibly go back to the way they once were, now that this box has been opened? now that he knows what it's like to kiss tighnari, and hold him this way? sure, very little would actually change, one way or another, but.. cyno isn't sure he's strong enough to go forward with the knowledge he has now, and never kiss tighnari again. of course, he cannot know his dear friend's heart, either, cannot know what it is what he wants. all cyno can do is answer on his own. ]
I.. [ he starts, then pulls back to look into tighnari's face, his eyes. ] .. I only want to be with you, in whatever capacity you will have me.
[ an unfair answer, perhaps, but it is the truth. he would never hold tighnari to anything. still, that isn't all he wants, is it? tighnari deserves to know what it is that he's feeling. ]
But were I to have exactly what I desire - [ his eyelids flicker downward, and cyno appears almost.. shy. almost demure. ] - it would be.. to have you as my partner, in every way I've always wanted. To keep holding you, and kissing you, and dancing with you.
[ calm composure keeps tighnari steady, quiet and patient as he waits for cyno to answer. like him, he is aware of his own feelings on it all, but he wants to hear it from him, wants to know cyno's own answer. two-toned forest eyes meet with scarlet red, ears perking forward at the start of those words, and his heart lurches.
there's a look of fondness that fills his gaze and a thumb traces the spot beneath one red eye. truly, tighnari doesn't see it as an unfair answer, after all it would have been the same answer he would have provided himself if cyno had asked it of him. to be with him, however he will have it. whether it's like this - his eyes close for a moment, his tail lowering with an almost anxious twitch of the end.
however, those words continue again, and eyes widen when he peers back at him. to catch that shyness in the way his gaze flicks down. ah. the way his heart stutters and skips, it's fleeting and fast, like a young teen stumbling about when facing their crush. for a moment, tighnari lets it sit, until he presses forward to give cyno a chaste kiss. afterward, he pulls back with a soft smile. ]
Then that would make two of us with that very same desire. [ that almost demure is cute, and though he almost wants to tease - he does want to make his own feelings known. ] I want to be with you. So, if you'll have me... then, why don't we try?
[ those words - they make him happier than cyno could ever rightly express. warmth burgeons in his breast, swelling and rising like the desert dunes, filling him up with a content pleasure that nearly undoes him.
the two of them. together. together in a way that cyno's always wanted. he can hardly take it in.
releasing a shivering exhale, cyno tips their brows together until they touch. for a moment he says nothing, only remains like this, close to tighnari, feeling the warmth of his hands and the brush of his breath, enjoying his scent and nearness. to think that this could be their new normal, now.. ]
Okay. Yes. I'd like that.
[ he's a little less eloquent than he might want to be, the excitement fluttering behind his ribs is enough to make him a little nervous, in the best sort of way. ]
[ the expression on tighnari's face softens considerably as their brows touch, and even though cyno doesn't answer right away... he doesn't say no either. it's alright even if he does, but since with how everything has been until now - isn't it worth taking that step? to try and not hold themselves back for a change? certainly, tighnari feels that cyno of all people deserves every bit of happiness he finds himself in, deserving of all the love that can be given after everything he's done.
gingerly, tighnari holds cyno's face in his hands, simply smoothing thumbs over skin as they drink in this warmth and shared closeness. enjoying just being able to hold him like this. that warmth continues to swell, heart racing a bit more in its excitement at those words, unable to stop himself from smiling a little more.
okay. yes. it may not be eloquent, or filled with rosey colorful words, but tighnari doesn't need it to be. it was enough, and an answer in itself that makes him cradle the man closer. ]
Just as I have always been yours. [ even if it goes without saying, because who else would have his heart but cyno? contentment fills him, more than happy to stay here in this little bubble of theirs but they have nothing but time right now. so, he hums a bit with thought, head tilting a little. ] A productive talk this turned out to be, don't you think?
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though, the question has the corner of his eyes crinkling with mirth, taking a step closer with a swish of his tail. one hand smooths over onto cyno's shoulder with a light grip and a slight tilt of his head. ]
Mmm, I thought you'd never ask, Cyno.
[ the music is a soft melodic tune, indicating a slow gentle dance, so tighnari is already guiding one of cyno's hands onto his own waist with a soft squeeze. a clear indication that he's allowing the other to take lead, which he confirms in a soft voice after. ]
I'll let you lead.
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oh this is dangerous indeed. he might be tormenting himself here, allowing this, but he doesn't stop. it feels like a dream when tighnari leads cyno's hands where he wants them, and cyno's thumb brushes a slow circle against the skin bared at tighnari's waist.
though it might surprise some people, cyno is quite a good dancer. dancing is, after all, not so different from combat, and cyno's particular style of combat is smooth and fluid and flexible, and therefore, so is he. he listens to the beat for a few seconds before beginning to move, his grasp on tighnari's waist becoming a little more firm as they slide easily into the dance, hand in hand.
he wants to say something. he should say something. but all he can do is look into tighnari's face, his captivating eyes. ]
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patiently he waits for cyno to move, and when he does, they move into step without missing a beat. his steps slide in one after another, flowing in tune with fluid and smooth notions. his hand squeezes cyno's own gently, gaze bright and twinkling a little under the warm lights around them, lips still lifted in a smile until he decides to step out of line.
and that is by causing them both to spin on the spot, arm raising to suddenly accommodate himself as he turns with one swift twirl and his back gently presses against cyno's chest. the contact is brief, gone as he twirls back and moves them both back into the same steps as before with cyno leading again. ]
You're quiet suddenly. Have something on your mind?
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[ he has many things on his mind, things that are not helped by the delicate, lovely way that tighnari twirls, nor the way the fox presses his back to cyno's chest. it's fleeting, but the warmth of tighnari's body lingers against him, the sensation of having him so close making his skin prickle.
they move back into the dance with ease, silk whispering against silk, and cyno draws closer, scooping tighnari in near with the hand at his waist slipping to the small of his back, resting just above the base of his tail. cyno's thumb swipes the soft, downy fur there, and he lowers his eyes briefly, then lifts them again.
they've danced before, this isn't the first time. tighnari attended the gala for his promotion, after all, and there had been plenty of events that they'd been wrangled into, hosted by the akademiya. sometimes they even dance at home in tighnari's hut, laughing playfully. why does this feel different? why does cyno's heart feel ready to burst from his chest? he's feeling far more bold than he otherwise might, though perhaps it isn't necessarily boldness, but rather fearlessness. cyno isn't afraid of tighnari knowing his feelings, after all. he's quite straightforward. what he's worried about is putting his dearest friend in danger.
but he's already in danger, isn't he? everyone knows how close they are, no matter how cyno attempts to downplay it. anyone who wanted to get to him could surely do it through tighnari, despite what the true nature of their relationship might be. collei, too. so what is he waiting for? ]
Tighnari, I..
[ he murmurs softly, their bodies still swaying to the music. ]
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this way of dancing with him is familiar, yes. a request from cyno is never going to be turned down from tighnari, who is even one to indulge him in tcg matches. a playful dance between them in more secluded areas like home. an outing to another region for some time together. though like cyno, he can tell this is different from those times before.
tighnari feels that same desire, need, to share what it is he feels in this moment, however he's more attentive of cyno's own demeanor. the soft murmur of those words while they sway with the melodic tune, he knows it's something that cyno wants to say. he grows quiet himself, contemplating, until he resolves to do something to ease his companion's hesitation.
just this once - ]
What? Fox got your tongue?
[ get it.... cat got your tongue.... but it's fox, because tighnari.... ]
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it certainly helps to alleviate the tension. cyno's eyebrows lift, his eyes snapping open a little wider, and a smile soon curves his mouth, but his heart still thrashes in his chest. ]
A little bit.
[ fox does have his tongue indeed. and his heart. everything that he is, is tighnari's. cyno's throat works as he swallows thickly, and not for the first time, nor likely for the last, his gaze flits briefly downward to tighnari's lips. his heart leaps again. they're so close, it would be so, so easy to close the distance between them, to finally learn the taste and texture of tighnari's mouth, information he's been aching to know for years.
his thumb continues to move in slow circles at the base of tighnari's tail. he felt that shiver, and he wants more of it. cyno's pale hair spills over his shoulders as he dips his head forward a little, brushing their noses, whispering. ]
I.. want to kiss you so badly.
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a soft hum emits, gaze flickering down as he catches sight of the way the other's throat bobs with that swallow. finding the close distance between them tantalizing, any breaths leaving them ghosting one another's lips that has his tail swishing slowly in anticipation. their steps begin to slow and tighnari takes that opportunity to slide his hand held in cyno's own to cup a tanned cheek.
lashes flutter to a half-lidded state when cyno leans in, pupils dilating the moment their noses brush together. and of course that damned teasing touch to his tail, causing it to curl highly up with a quiver. however, it's those words that have him freeze, peering back at that gaze. he has always wanted to kiss cyno, to share such intimacy with him as he does, why was he so afraid to do so before? it's almost hard to remember, finding the temptation gently coaxed but he pushes that thought away. he pushes all cautiousness out the window - cyno's confirming whisper is all he needs to just
pull cyno the rest of the way and bring their lips together in a kiss. ]
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when he feels tighnari pulling him in to close the distance, cyno's heart leaps into his throat.
and then he's pressing forward, locking their mouths gently together, both arms coiling around tighnari's middle to pull him close. closer. as close as he can manage. their lips slide together in a perfect match, and cyno shivers, losing himself in the sensation immediately.
tighnari's lips.. they're just as soft as he'd always imagined they would be, just as warm, plush and silken. their breath mingles, and cyno's pulse kicks up, his head tilting to better accommodate their kiss, a low hum in his throat. he feels dizzy. this is a dream, something he's ached to do for so long that finally achieving it feels unreal.
one hand slides slowly up tighnari's back, rough calluses catching against soft skin, and the other lifts to slip into tighnari's dark hair, cradling his head closer. ]
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and yet every second of this feels right. like it was meant to be. as if it was always going to end up this way. eyes slip to a close as he familiarizes to the feel of that mouth against his own, peeks of fangs lightly grazing that bottom lip when that kiss deepens. he can feel every breath being swallowed with the brush of their noses, heads tilting to feel more of those lips on his.
ears tremble in a fold back, burying into dark hair with an arch to his back when that palm maps along the exposed layer of his back. shuddering to that callus roughness that causes a churning pleasure in his stomach. a thumb smooths over cyno's cheek, gingerly holding that cheek in his own palm. it encourages fingers to reach up to tickle into white strands, fingertips dragging lightly over his scalp.
though his chest starts to tighten as he loses his breath amidst their shared kiss, reminding himself to breathe through his nose. however, that feel of a hum emitting from the other man does pull a chuckle from tighhnari himself. he can't help but smile, his tail dipping low to curl around part of cyno. he wants nothing more than to commit this moment to memory - to remember the way it feels to kiss cyno. he could easily get addicted to it. ]
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and then tighnari is arching into him, pulling close, and cyno's breath rushes hot, a shiver sweeping down his spine from the feel of tighnari's fingers, heat blazing under his skin. his head is full of warm, static cotton. tighnari chuckles, the sound bubbling against his lips, making cyno smile, his mouth curving against tighnari's. ]
Mm.. just what are you laughing about?
[ he says softly, his voice a low, rough whisper between them, but he keeps tighnari close, holds their bodies together, his lips pressing to the corner of tighnari's mouth. ]
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[ it really feels like whatever walls they've built up over the years, guarded and careful to avoid putting either of each other in a difficult situation... is simply out the window now. gently broken down, piece by piece by each trailing touch, brush of those lips against one another. bubbling a warm, gentle sensation in his chest that swells with those lips smiling against his mouth.
he brushes their noses languidly, lashes fluttering open to peer into the other's man face. there's no hiding the sheer look of fond and affection that he looks to cyno with. feeling his nerves still alight while he has a thumb smooth a small circle beneath an eye, curving that palm back against his companion's jawline. his own voice in the same kind of whisper. ]
Next time you should just kiss me.
[ because in the end of it all, he will always have a weakness that is cyno. it doesn't matter what happens now, or will happen, whatever future comes, cyno will always be tighnari's weakness. and he has long since accepted this very fact. ]
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tighnari, and collei. they are his life. his heart. his family, his reason to wake up in the morning, even beyond his own sense of duty and work ethic. cyno fights for sumeru and her people, he fights for those he loves, to make the world a better place for them, a safer place, day by day. and so they, too, are his weakness as well; there is nothing he would not give for tighnari, up to and including his life, the breath in his lungs. ]
Next time..
[ he murmurs, weakened by that irresistible fondness in tighnari's eyes, knowing that same deep, undeniable love is reflected in his own expression. next time. yes. he likes the sound of that.
and next time, it would seem, is right now, for cyno is soon cradling tighnari's face in both of his rough hands, and kissing him again. ]
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it was almost a silent agreement, for the both of them to not say anything. to not label it, to put words to what it was. but clearly now they've taken a step past that line - pushing through in that simple admittance of his desire to kiss, and tighnari accepting it willingly.
just as he accepts it now as well. feeling those rough hands cradling his face so gently, ears folding back into his dark hair with a soften look in his two-toned gaze. lashes flutter to a close again as he returns that kiss sweetly, his own hands dropping to rest on the other man's waist to slowly encircle it.
though there's no hiding the way his tail starts to wag, swishing side to side as hands squeeze cyno gently. ]
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gods, he could kiss tighnari for hours and never tire of it. ]
We should..
[ .. talk about this. shouldn't they? there's so much to be said, despite how much they both already know of one another's hearts, so much that doesn't need to be said, since they've said it a hundred times with their smiles, their deeds, their lingering touches.
cyno pulls back, but only enough to be able to look into tighnari's face, into his forest colored eyes. ]
.. talk.
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...ah.
[ right. as obvious as it may be to another, even with things left unsaid, it would probably be best to discuss it. if it's what cyno wants, tighnari can't really turn it down or away. even if it would be so easy to go back to the way things are. so he nods after a moment, his head tilting to gently press their foreheads together. another noise leaves him, one of affirmation. ]
Then, let's talk.
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cyno wonders why this should be so difficult in the first place. if two people care for one another, shouldn't they be able to express that, without fear and without worry? if only things were so uncomplicated. ]
Do you remember that night - it was a long time ago - before you graduated? It was a quiet night, nothing particularly interesting happened. We sat together on the terrace outside of your apartment. It was summer, very warm, we were drinking peach iced tea.
[ cyno remembers it, he remembers it as if it were yesterday. his thumbs smooth across tighnari's cheeks, fingertips sifting into his dark hair. ]
We talked about the stars. You pointed out our constellations, and we talked about a potion that could turn me into a scarab. That night - that's when I knew.
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he blinks when cyno begins, his gaze steady and holding that red gaze straight on. of course he remembers that night. he almost remembers every day he's spent with cyno, from his meeting with him, to their buddling friendship that surprised even him. to find himself drawn and enjoying his company, to learn more about the man that was behind the intimidating cold front most saw cyno to be. he hums softly to confirm, mostly listening, closing his eyes as thumbs smooth over his cheeks and his head tilts into that drifting touch.
though, his lips twitch into a softer smile, chuckling. ]
You wouldn't stop trying to come up with jokes about scarabs after that. How even as a scarab you'd always find your way back due to your "insect-tinct." And "I wonder if I would be too cool for school; given my amazing ‘beet-itude.'" [ but that's how tighnari could always tell cyno was in a good mood, he'd slip in some jokes, testing tighnari who would groan and lightly shove him away but. ] ...I had already known by then too.
[ when he would open his door, to greet Cyno, who was always eager to share a new joke with him, or simply talk about nothing.. he had become so painfully aware of how much cyno had wormed his way into his heart and settled a permanent place there. ]
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but really.. was that even true?
it was quite obvious to anyone and everyone, after all, that tighnari and collei were his dearest companions; would being tighnari's partner, his lover, really make a difference? right now, at least, cyno can't help but think that no, no it wouldn't. so why does he still hesitate? why does he not simply let it all out? ]
Heh.. those were good jokes. I hope they didn't bug you too much.
[ but to know that his feelings were returned - it made cyno's chest swell up tight with emotion. his hands moved, sliding down tighnari's face and along his throat, over his shoulders and down his sides, holding him close, as close as he could. ]
I've loved you for as long as I can remember. And I'll never stop.
[ not for as long as he lives and breathes. cyno isn't sure whether or not he believes in soulmates, but if they are real, surely tighnari must be his. there is no one in this world he loves the way he loves tighnari, no one he could possibly hold as close to his heart in this way. ]
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perhaps they were both foolish. dancing around, skirting around words, trying to protect one another when really.. haven't they always been doing that? it really would make no difference. he shivers at the trail of those hands, tail twitching with a quick swish side to side. there is a roll of his eyes at yet another joke, but to hear the following words after...
his heart aches. good, but painfully. a breath exhales slowly while arms encircle cyno more to press them together in a loose hug. nudging his nose against a cheek. ]
I know.
[ tighnari has always known. known for as long as he has shared those very same feelings. even though hearing them out loud, to hear cyno say it himself... it ignites a warmth in his chest, because everyone would hope to have their feelings return and tighnari is of no exception. cyno is quite possibly the only one who would ever have his heart like this. he cannot see himself ever possibly loving someone else as much as he loves cyno. not in this way. and the way cyno continues to look at him, those very thoughts are surely returned. ]
I've always have, and will, love you, Cyno. Nothing will ever change that fact.
[ words emit in a soft whisper, quiet in this moment for only him to hear and no one else. ]
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perhaps they were foolish to dance around it. could he have learned the taste of tighnari's lips years ago, and not wasted all of this time? well. perhaps so, but also, cyno won't take up time complaining about it. he has tighnari now, and that's all that really matters, isn't it? and he's hearing his dearest feelings returned. like tighnari, he has known on some level that his feelings were reciprocated, but hearing it, watching tighnari's mouth shape the words - it floods him with fondness and warmth.
he'll never forget the sound of it.
cyno closes his eyes, leans into tighnari's warmth, breathes in his unforgettable scent. he's setting this moment, in all of its detail, to perfect memory. ]
I suppose this was a long time in coming.
[ for how long they have danced around it, right now it feels easy and simple, as if they have been lovers for years. but in many ways they have been, haven't they? cyno nudges his nose along tighnari's cheek, his jaw, leaving a soft line of kisses there. ]
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it's almost dreamlike. with the distant melodic tune of music, a gentle breeze with bright colors of the flora and the ponds beside them. but still he keeps his attention solely on cyno, taking in the contentment that glows brighter on his partner's face. ]
Suppose it was, in a way.
[ though as hidden as it technically was, it was also always there. tighnari chuckles softly, a hum sounding after as his tail starts to sway with the feel of those kisses. his heart stutters, quiet and gentle, guiding their noses together in a languid nuzzle. in a way, this does change things - but at the same time, it doesn't. their feelings may have been enlightened to one another, yes, but it can easily go back to the way things have always been. which is why he directs cyno to look at him - meeting that gaze while he observes him closely. ]
But I want to hear it from you directly. What is it you want.
[ he wants cyno to be certain of it. whether it's to keep thing as they are, or something more, tighnari is willing to accept and give him whatever it is he wants. but for his own sake, he wants to hear it. see it for himself without any worries or doubts. ]
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really, cyno wonders if there could ever be any other answer than the one he has to say. could he possibly go back to the way they once were, now that this box has been opened? now that he knows what it's like to kiss tighnari, and hold him this way? sure, very little would actually change, one way or another, but.. cyno isn't sure he's strong enough to go forward with the knowledge he has now, and never kiss tighnari again. of course, he cannot know his dear friend's heart, either, cannot know what it is what he wants. all cyno can do is answer on his own. ]
I.. [ he starts, then pulls back to look into tighnari's face, his eyes. ] .. I only want to be with you, in whatever capacity you will have me.
[ an unfair answer, perhaps, but it is the truth. he would never hold tighnari to anything. still, that isn't all he wants, is it? tighnari deserves to know what it is that he's feeling. ]
But were I to have exactly what I desire - [ his eyelids flicker downward, and cyno appears almost.. shy. almost demure. ] - it would be.. to have you as my partner, in every way I've always wanted. To keep holding you, and kissing you, and dancing with you.
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there's a look of fondness that fills his gaze and a thumb traces the spot beneath one red eye. truly, tighnari doesn't see it as an unfair answer, after all it would have been the same answer he would have provided himself if cyno had asked it of him. to be with him, however he will have it. whether it's like this - his eyes close for a moment, his tail lowering with an almost anxious twitch of the end.
however, those words continue again, and eyes widen when he peers back at him. to catch that shyness in the way his gaze flicks down. ah. the way his heart stutters and skips, it's fleeting and fast, like a young teen stumbling about when facing their crush. for a moment, tighnari lets it sit, until he presses forward to give cyno a chaste kiss. afterward, he pulls back with a soft smile. ]
Then that would make two of us with that very same desire. [ that almost demure is cute, and though he almost wants to tease - he does want to make his own feelings known. ] I want to be with you. So, if you'll have me... then, why don't we try?
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the two of them. together. together in a way that cyno's always wanted. he can hardly take it in.
releasing a shivering exhale, cyno tips their brows together until they touch. for a moment he says nothing, only remains like this, close to tighnari, feeling the warmth of his hands and the brush of his breath, enjoying his scent and nearness. to think that this could be their new normal, now.. ]
Okay. Yes. I'd like that.
[ he's a little less eloquent than he might want to be, the excitement fluttering behind his ribs is enough to make him a little nervous, in the best sort of way. ]
I'm yours, then. I always have been.
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gingerly, tighnari holds cyno's face in his hands, simply smoothing thumbs over skin as they drink in this warmth and shared closeness. enjoying just being able to hold him like this. that warmth continues to swell, heart racing a bit more in its excitement at those words, unable to stop himself from smiling a little more.
okay. yes. it may not be eloquent, or filled with rosey colorful words, but tighnari doesn't need it to be. it was enough, and an answer in itself that makes him cradle the man closer. ]
Just as I have always been yours. [ even if it goes without saying, because who else would have his heart but cyno? contentment fills him, more than happy to stay here in this little bubble of theirs but they have nothing but time right now. so, he hums a bit with thought, head tilting a little. ] A productive talk this turned out to be, don't you think?
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